Retardation

Child Support Enforcement (CSE) is the organization within human services that is suppose to enforce consequences for failure to pay. Here are some of those consequences: suspensions or revocations of licenses either driving, recreational, professional or occupational. They can also have an effect on passports. Failure to pay can also lead to incarceration, up to 180 days. This agency can monitor wage data through the department of labor and employment or from "new hire" reports that are mandatory for employers to submit to the state of Colorado.
Ok there are all these consequences this agency is authorized to enforce but how long does it take for them to actually enforce them? I am currently not receiving child support. This has been a fight that has been on going since September 09. I just recently got the CSE to put my son's father in contempt of court. We had our first court date in February, the second date is scheduled for this month. When he was placed in contempt the stipulation was that he had x amount of time to pay x amount of money, he didn't do it. At court they gave him a slap on the wrist. He stopped paying AGAIN.
At this point it has been over a month, I called to discuss the options, their answer was well you've got a court date and these are the consequences that might or could be enforced. I had to wait because they won't even call you back unless the payments are a month delinquent. In the beginning he had a good job that garnished his pay then he lost it, of course, and somehow managed to find a loop hole to prolong being put in contempt. They have a month to pay the amount, so he figured out that if he paid a little then he'd made a payment so he wasn't delinquent. Once he was put in contempt he quickly got another job that garnished his pay, a little less than a month after our first court date he lost or quit this job as well.
At what point do they stop giving these dead beats chances? Why do fathers like this even have rights? In every article I read online it says that Colorado takes paying child support very seriously. " While the economy has had a negative effect on many peoples’ lifestyles, not paying for a child’s care is not an option." I don't see anything being done about it.
The only thing happening is my son suffering and MY life being made more difficult, as if it isn't hard enough. Since I'm not receiving child support I am having to use money that is usually set aside for bills for things my son needs, such as shoes and clothes. As a result of this I am now struggling to pay my rent.
My son's dad seems to think the money he pays (when he feels like it) is to only go to my son he doesn't get that if I choose or need to use the money towards rent or groceries I can. In his head it is supposed to solely be used for my son he thinks that money can not benefit me, he doesn't seem to understand that MY house and MY rent being paid benefits my son.
I am angry because while he's running around doing whatever he wants when he wants I am having to work two jobs. With all the court dates and everything else I have to take time off from both jobs which costs me money to deal with more bullshit. I just want all of it to be over I want him to go away. I don't understand why these men even have rights? If I decided to do anything close to what he is doing I would be in so much trouble so quick! My ass would be slapped with all kinds of neglect, endangerment, and abuse charges it wouldn't even be funny.  I hate that these men get the option to decide which is more important having fun and doing what they want for themselves (and new girlfriends) or supporting their children. I don't get that option. I can't say hey I don't think I'll feed my kid today, go out and get drunk instead. The only option I get is do I wanna struggle for everything or go out and work my ass off. Either option makes my child suffer in one way or the other. Then everyone has an opinion on what I'm doing to take care of myself and my son. Everyone wants to lecture me on how I am working too much. Really?! Do you wanna pay my bills? I gotta do what I gotta do because the person I chose to have in my life at one point is a complete piece of shit. I don't understand how men and women can be wired so differently. How can someone just decide they're not gonna do anything and everything they can for their baby? And why doesn't anyone do anything about it?
I'm so fed up and frustrated with the situation.
The only reason I want child support is because when you are involved with a child you need to support that child especially if you helped create this little being. Honestly if he would give up his parental rights I would be so much happier and less resentful. When my son got to the age where he could understand what has happened he can decide if his father is someone he wants in his life. I feel I should be the one deciding if this is something good for my son, I'm not that evil person who would take my son's father away just because I don't like him. I would be fine with this man being involved in my son's life if he ever did anything productive. As it is now all he is doing is hurting my son, popping in and out of my son's life when ever he feels like it based on what he feels is more important in his life. There is nothing more important in my life than my son! My son is developing behavioral issues based on his father. My son doesn't understand why his daddy doesn't want to be around him. My son is confused by the things his daddy says about me and everyone else who has always been a supporting role in my son's life. My son doesn't understand why his daddy says he loves him but he doesn't act the same way as the rest of us. My son is angry with me again because of the things his daddy does and says. I feel that my son is being emotionally abused by his father. His father is causing him to have a compromised mental state and there is nothing any of us can do about it until this parasite goes away.
I don't understand why he won't just let my son have the life he deserves with nothing but supportive people surrounding him. I wonder if he refuses to do what is best for my son because he wants me to suffer? Or if he gets a kick out of making everyone believe that he is the good guy? I am curious as to how he got this notion that what he is doing to a child is ok? How does he not see what he has done or is doing? How do these people he associates with really believe that he is in the right? I mean really if he was right and what was in the best my son why doesn't he have him? I have so many questions that I will never get an answer to I am angry and frustrated because this bullshit is never ending. This is something/someone I am going to end up dealing with for the rest of my life or at least for the next 14 years or so. I will never get rid of him, he is honestly a parasite that sucks the life out of everyone he comes in contact with. He manipulates everyone and everything to his advantage. He convinces people that he is right, that what he has done is ok. These brain washed people include the court system obviously. The system is doing nothing to help me Ive been forced to put all these court orders in place to benefit the father at the expense of myself. The expenses I've had to pay are not just monetary either they're emotional, mental, and physical.
If I'm gonna do it on my own then get out of my way and let me do it alone. You do nothing but cause problems. I wish the system saw things the way I do ... you don't wanna pay then you don't wanna have rights. I'm not sure where the idea comes from that you deserve to be a daddy. Everyone knows there's a difference between a daddy and a father. Unfortunately I've got a sperm donor who thinks he can do whatever he wants with no consequences and the system has proven him right. He has not had any repercussions for his actions my son's entire life ... my son is almost 5. This donor's shitty actions are not limited to child support.
As I've mentioned in a previous blog this a subject I can go on and on about so I will stick to the support issue for this installment of irregularly cantankerous :)

Liars

I haven't had anything really important to say for the last few days but something has been on my mind. I've decided to share my thoughts with everyone.

I absolutely despise liars. I know that everyone has told a lie at some point in their lives, be it to their friends or family to get out of a get together without hurting feelings, or to work. There is a difference between telling a lie and being a liar. I understand occasionally there is a need to lie. For example, I've called out of work due to sickness. I had eaten something bad for lunch and had to call out right before my scheduled start time, I knew my employer wouldn't be understanding to the fact that I didn't know right away that I was sick and unable to work. Well long story short I lied and said that my son was sick, when children are sick you can't send them to day care or a sitter so your employer is more understanding as to why you are unable to work. There are other times when a lie may feel necessary. I am peeved at the people who feel the need to lie constantly for whatever weird reason. I remember when I was younger I would lie to my mom because I thought if I lied I wouldn't get in trouble, and that was definitely not the case. I always lied when I had done something I knew I wasn't supposed to have done. I know people who lie and its shit they don’t even need to lie about, like the color of their fucking socks. What is the point? No one really gives a damn what color your socks are!

I've began to notice that the people who are like compulsive about lying really feel as though they aren’t lying. To me its simple black and white ... you either lied or you didn't. I feel that withholding information that you know is important is lying. These people who lie everyday about everything think that withholding information is not telling a lie its card stacking like politicians. Well I'm sorry to break it ya but you aren't a politician it is not your profession to get people to believe. It doesn't matter how you get there just that you get to the same point. If I were to ask HIM if he called and talked to certain person, he would say no because she called him, but he knows exactly what I am asking. It wasn't worded correctly so to him by saying no he isn't lying because he didn't CALL her.

The reason this subject is coming up at this point is because I've begun to suspect that lying is hereditary. My baby daddy is one of those people that tells lies about everything and anything. I mean he lied to the point of saying that he had meetings at work when really he just wanted to get drunk. He didn’t think about the fact that he would get caught when he came home. I guess he thought I was an idiot, that I’m not gonna notice and question him. Anyway completely different topic and anyone who knows me knows that one is never ending ;).

I'll get back to being a liar being hereditary. I have begun to think this way because my son has become quite the little liar. We are the point where we are having trouble believing anything he says. We have to go and ask one another if they really did this or that with him. He is so bad right now that he is lying about basically everything. He lies about what he ate for lunch! What’s the point of that?  I know that my mom, who watches him during the day so that I can work is not going to feed him candy or anything bad, so why he feels the need to say he had grilled cheese instead of chicken nuggets is beyond me. I haven’t been able to figure this out and neither has my mom. Another example of “card stacking” is Saturday I went to Wal-Mart to get his Easter stuff, since I’m a single mom he has to go with me. I found these really cool eggs that had hot wheels inside so I hid them from him, he did not see them once while we were at the store. I kept them behind me and then put them in the cart under him and a bunch of other things. I even had the cashier ring them up and put them in the bag fast. My boyfriend distracted my son while the cashier did this. We put the bags in the very back of my car so there was no way my son could have seen anything in the bag while we were on our way home. We came home and I began to put away our groceries. I put the bags on the chair while I took care of the perishables. While I was getting everything put away my son took it upon himself to go through the bags of Easter goodies. He started asking for the cars, I got upset because I had told him to leave that stuff alone; he immediately said he didn’t get in the bag. He went to Grandma’s today and we discussed the incident from this weekend. Grandma spent the day talking to him about what he had done. He finally admitted that he opened the bag and looked inside but to him because he didn’t stick his hand inside he hadn’t gotten in the bag. To my mom and me he lied saying he didn’t get in the bag when clearly he did but to him he didn’t lie because he didn’t stick his hands in the bag.

I just don’t get it. I was never a liar not even when I was growing up. I’d get caught doing or having done something and I’d just say yeah I did it. My sister was always the liar. My mom taught us the same things but I guess they really struck true with me, if you tell a lie you get in more trouble than if you tell the truth. If you are truthful you only get in trouble for the bad deed. If you lie then you get in trouble for the bad deed and the lie. It seems that some people don’t get that idea through their head. Again someone I should not discuss I’ll go on forever so I’ll get back on the correct subject.

My son and his new found joy of lying. Like the bag thing I explained earlier he doesn’t seem to think that he is telling a story. How can I get him to understand that he is doing something he wrong? I try discussing it with him but since he thinks he didn’t get in the bag, for example, he didn’t lie. Even though he touched the bag and got into it enough to see what’s in there. So we disagree and since he is 4 years old he doesn’t understand what I am trying to explain to him. I don’t know how to deal with this situation. I work very hard on a daily basis to try and teach my son to be a good person and not turn out like baby daddy. I try to teach him to be respectful and I don't think lying is respectful. I am very worried that this little issue is going to turn into an on going problem and is going to cause our lives to be so much harder than they need to be. I know teenagers lie I don't need an experienced liar on my hands.  I am very worried about everything I just want to raise my son right. Children need to come with directions but they don't so you have to wing it, do the best you can and hope they turn out to be good members of society. This shit is hard!

Lying is dumb just be honest.   

GRRRR

I was texting my friend today and she was talking about Teen Mom. I decided to share my crazy rant with everyone ...
Its just as hard to be a mom when you're my age. I go through the same shit they do, I can't go to school, I work and struggle to pay bills. I fight for child support. I have baby daddy disorder (the clinical term provided by Melissa) just like those girls if not worse.Shit put me on tv so I can get paid. Trust and believe the fame wouldn't get to me. I wouldn't want a spin off I wouldn't be getting any crazy plastic surguries.
Seriously I could be on "Adult Mom", the real world, or some shore someplace. I'm a single mother struggling to take care of my kid. I live in the real world I can get drunk and fight people.  Shit I do, pay me for it! I can even be a bitch just for the fun of it. Make me famous fuckheads mtv or oxygen I don't care I need the assistance.Where the fuck is my show? I could even be on the food network. I can cook and I eat so I know lotsa restaurants. Pay me to make and eat food or travel the damn country going to different eateries.Oh hey I watch alot of movies pay me to be a movie critic! I can drive too, wanna pay me to be tv drivin? Fuck it just pay me to talk I do enough of that.
You know people would watch because even as my friends I'm entertaining. You never know what the fuck I'ma do or say for that matter.
I thought I would share this little rant because it is very irritating to me how these people are on tv and getting paid for it. All these people on there acting a fool. All of them doing stupid shit and making bad decisions. How did they even end up there? Why were they the ones picked?
I was 21 and pregnant where is the show for that? How about a show all about baby daddy disorder? How you spend every month hoping you get your child support calling your card everyday just to be disappointed. Then you spend the rest of the day trying to figure out how your gonna buy food for the week or put gas in your car to get to work. Work constantly to make that little bit of money you have to stretch to the last penny. The shit you see on tv isn't what its really like. Everyone watches these girls on tv and feel so bad for them when in reality it can be so much worse. My life is reality that shit isn't. I am completely on my own. I work almost everyday I worry everyday. I can't even afford to put my child in day care. I have real issues that I deal with every day and the shit they show on tv is just the tip of what really goes on when you have a child.
To top it all of their are so many people saying that Teen Mom is setting a good example. I'm throughly confused on how this show about little kids having kids is a good example. All its showing is that having a baby is kinda hard but someone will always be there to help you and pick you up when your down. That you can always call mommy or daddy and they'll come to your rescue. It sets the example that when you have a child you don't need to grow up because someone will always be there to clean up your mess. I really wish that were true but it most definitely is not. This show depicts to young girls that if you get pregnant at a young age thats all you need to become famous. Its not like before when you had to be talented to become somebody, now you just have to be a slut at a young age.
So really honestly how is this show setting a good example?

Also I think ranting is much more fun than being all kinda sorta maybe insightful ;) I think I'll be ranting some more in my next bloggy thingy.

Happiness

Happy is defined as: delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a perticular thing: to be happy to see a person (dictionary.com)

My question for the day is anyone truely happy or just merely content?

As of lately I'm leaning more towards just merely content. To me being happy is not wanting for anything else but everyone always wants for more than what they have. Be it to get married, have children, a new job, bigger home, or a new car, you are always reaching for your goal to get this thing or that thing. Happy would be when you have achieved all your goals and have everything you want. Life is incomplete without dreams and goals. So, really are you ever truly happy? Also it seems to me most of happiness is defined by material things. People always say "money can't buy happiness" but it most certainly helps. I think that most everyone is merely content. I'm not saying that no one is truly happy with any aspect of their lives, just that no one is completely happy with everything happening in their life. If you're unhappy at work then you're not truly happy while you are content with your home life.
 People spend their lives in the pursuit of happiness ever stop to think maybe you're wasting your time and you should be content to be merely content? Ever stop to think what's wrong with being content?
I started this blog worried about happiness but now that I've thought it through I am extremely content. I definitely have some hardships in my life but I will make it through. I am perfectly fine with every situation that may come my way. I will preveil without happiness with mere contentment.
 Happiness is like normality do either really exsist?