I haven't had anything really important to say for the last few days but something has been on my mind. I've decided to share my thoughts with everyone.
I absolutely despise liars. I know that everyone has told a lie at some point in their lives, be it to their friends or family to get out of a get together without hurting feelings, or to work. There is a difference between telling a lie and being a liar. I understand occasionally there is a need to lie. For example, I've called out of work due to sickness. I had eaten something bad for lunch and had to call out right before my scheduled start time, I knew my employer wouldn't be understanding to the fact that I didn't know right away that I was sick and unable to work. Well long story short I lied and said that my son was sick, when children are sick you can't send them to day care or a sitter so your employer is more understanding as to why you are unable to work. There are other times when a lie may feel necessary. I am peeved at the people who feel the need to lie constantly for whatever weird reason. I remember when I was younger I would lie to my mom because I thought if I lied I wouldn't get in trouble, and that was definitely not the case. I always lied when I had done something I knew I wasn't supposed to have done. I know people who lie and its shit they don’t even need to lie about, like the color of their fucking socks. What is the point? No one really gives a damn what color your socks are!
I've began to notice that the people who are like compulsive about lying really feel as though they aren’t lying. To me its simple black and white ... you either lied or you didn't. I feel that withholding information that you know is important is lying. These people who lie everyday about everything think that withholding information is not telling a lie its card stacking like politicians. Well I'm sorry to break it ya but you aren't a politician it is not your profession to get people to believe. It doesn't matter how you get there just that you get to the same point. If I were to ask HIM if he called and talked to certain person, he would say no because she called him, but he knows exactly what I am asking. It wasn't worded correctly so to him by saying no he isn't lying because he didn't CALL her.
The reason this subject is coming up at this point is because I've begun to suspect that lying is hereditary. My baby daddy is one of those people that tells lies about everything and anything. I mean he lied to the point of saying that he had meetings at work when really he just wanted to get drunk. He didn’t think about the fact that he would get caught when he came home. I guess he thought I was an idiot, that I’m not gonna notice and question him. Anyway completely different topic and anyone who knows me knows that one is never ending ;).
I'll get back to being a liar being hereditary. I have begun to think this way because my son has become quite the little liar. We are the point where we are having trouble believing anything he says. We have to go and ask one another if they really did this or that with him. He is so bad right now that he is lying about basically everything. He lies about what he ate for lunch! What’s the point of that? I know that my mom, who watches him during the day so that I can work is not going to feed him candy or anything bad, so why he feels the need to say he had grilled cheese instead of chicken nuggets is beyond me. I haven’t been able to figure this out and neither has my mom. Another example of “card stacking” is Saturday I went to Wal-Mart to get his Easter stuff, since I’m a single mom he has to go with me. I found these really cool eggs that had hot wheels inside so I hid them from him, he did not see them once while we were at the store. I kept them behind me and then put them in the cart under him and a bunch of other things. I even had the cashier ring them up and put them in the bag fast. My boyfriend distracted my son while the cashier did this. We put the bags in the very back of my car so there was no way my son could have seen anything in the bag while we were on our way home. We came home and I began to put away our groceries. I put the bags on the chair while I took care of the perishables. While I was getting everything put away my son took it upon himself to go through the bags of Easter goodies. He started asking for the cars, I got upset because I had told him to leave that stuff alone; he immediately said he didn’t get in the bag. He went to Grandma’s today and we discussed the incident from this weekend. Grandma spent the day talking to him about what he had done. He finally admitted that he opened the bag and looked inside but to him because he didn’t stick his hand inside he hadn’t gotten in the bag. To my mom and me he lied saying he didn’t get in the bag when clearly he did but to him he didn’t lie because he didn’t stick his hands in the bag.
I just don’t get it. I was never a liar not even when I was growing up. I’d get caught doing or having done something and I’d just say yeah I did it. My sister was always the liar. My mom taught us the same things but I guess they really struck true with me, if you tell a lie you get in more trouble than if you tell the truth. If you are truthful you only get in trouble for the bad deed. If you lie then you get in trouble for the bad deed and the lie. It seems that some people don’t get that idea through their head. Again someone I should not discuss I’ll go on forever so I’ll get back on the correct subject.
My son and his new found joy of lying. Like the bag thing I explained earlier he doesn’t seem to think that he is telling a story. How can I get him to understand that he is doing something he wrong? I try discussing it with him but since he thinks he didn’t get in the bag, for example, he didn’t lie. Even though he touched the bag and got into it enough to see what’s in there. So we disagree and since he is 4 years old he doesn’t understand what I am trying to explain to him. I don’t know how to deal with this situation. I work very hard on a daily basis to try and teach my son to be a good person and not turn out like baby daddy. I try to teach him to be respectful and I don't think lying is respectful. I am very worried that this little issue is going to turn into an on going problem and is going to cause our lives to be so much harder than they need to be. I know teenagers lie I don't need an experienced liar on my hands. I am very worried about everything I just want to raise my son right. Children need to come with directions but they don't so you have to wing it, do the best you can and hope they turn out to be good members of society. This shit is hard!
Lying is dumb just be honest.
