Child Support Enforcement (CSE) is the organization within human services that is suppose to enforce consequences for failure to pay. Here are some of those consequences: suspensions or revocations of licenses either driving, recreational, professional or occupational. They can also have an effect on passports. Failure to pay can also lead to incarceration, up to 180 days. This agency can monitor wage data through the department of labor and employment or from "new hire" reports that are mandatory for employers to submit to the state of Colorado.
Ok there are all these consequences this agency is authorized to enforce but how long does it take for them to actually enforce them? I am currently not receiving child support. This has been a fight that has been on going since September 09. I just recently got the CSE to put my son's father in contempt of court. We had our first court date in February, the second date is scheduled for this month. When he was placed in contempt the stipulation was that he had x amount of time to pay x amount of money, he didn't do it. At court they gave him a slap on the wrist. He stopped paying AGAIN.
At this point it has been over a month, I called to discuss the options, their answer was well you've got a court date and these are the consequences that might or could be enforced. I had to wait because they won't even call you back unless the payments are a month delinquent. In the beginning he had a good job that garnished his pay then he lost it, of course, and somehow managed to find a loop hole to prolong being put in contempt. They have a month to pay the amount, so he figured out that if he paid a little then he'd made a payment so he wasn't delinquent. Once he was put in contempt he quickly got another job that garnished his pay, a little less than a month after our first court date he lost or quit this job as well.
At what point do they stop giving these dead beats chances? Why do fathers like this even have rights? In every article I read online it says that Colorado takes paying child support very seriously. " While the economy has had a negative effect on many peoples’ lifestyles, not paying for a child’s care is not an option." I don't see anything being done about it.
The only thing happening is my son suffering and MY life being made more difficult, as if it isn't hard enough. Since I'm not receiving child support I am having to use money that is usually set aside for bills for things my son needs, such as shoes and clothes. As a result of this I am now struggling to pay my rent.
My son's dad seems to think the money he pays (when he feels like it) is to only go to my son he doesn't get that if I choose or need to use the money towards rent or groceries I can. In his head it is supposed to solely be used for my son he thinks that money can not benefit me, he doesn't seem to understand that MY house and MY rent being paid benefits my son.
I am angry because while he's running around doing whatever he wants when he wants I am having to work two jobs. With all the court dates and everything else I have to take time off from both jobs which costs me money to deal with more bullshit. I just want all of it to be over I want him to go away. I don't understand why these men even have rights? If I decided to do anything close to what he is doing I would be in so much trouble so quick! My ass would be slapped with all kinds of neglect, endangerment, and abuse charges it wouldn't even be funny. I hate that these men get the option to decide which is more important having fun and doing what they want for themselves (and new girlfriends) or supporting their children. I don't get that option. I can't say hey I don't think I'll feed my kid today, go out and get drunk instead. The only option I get is do I wanna struggle for everything or go out and work my ass off. Either option makes my child suffer in one way or the other. Then everyone has an opinion on what I'm doing to take care of myself and my son. Everyone wants to lecture me on how I am working too much. Really?! Do you wanna pay my bills? I gotta do what I gotta do because the person I chose to have in my life at one point is a complete piece of shit. I don't understand how men and women can be wired so differently. How can someone just decide they're not gonna do anything and everything they can for their baby? And why doesn't anyone do anything about it?
I'm so fed up and frustrated with the situation.
The only reason I want child support is because when you are involved with a child you need to support that child especially if you helped create this little being. Honestly if he would give up his parental rights I would be so much happier and less resentful. When my son got to the age where he could understand what has happened he can decide if his father is someone he wants in his life. I feel I should be the one deciding if this is something good for my son, I'm not that evil person who would take my son's father away just because I don't like him. I would be fine with this man being involved in my son's life if he ever did anything productive. As it is now all he is doing is hurting my son, popping in and out of my son's life when ever he feels like it based on what he feels is more important in his life. There is nothing more important in my life than my son! My son is developing behavioral issues based on his father. My son doesn't understand why his daddy doesn't want to be around him. My son is confused by the things his daddy says about me and everyone else who has always been a supporting role in my son's life. My son doesn't understand why his daddy says he loves him but he doesn't act the same way as the rest of us. My son is angry with me again because of the things his daddy does and says. I feel that my son is being emotionally abused by his father. His father is causing him to have a compromised mental state and there is nothing any of us can do about it until this parasite goes away.
I don't understand why he won't just let my son have the life he deserves with nothing but supportive people surrounding him. I wonder if he refuses to do what is best for my son because he wants me to suffer? Or if he gets a kick out of making everyone believe that he is the good guy? I am curious as to how he got this notion that what he is doing to a child is ok? How does he not see what he has done or is doing? How do these people he associates with really believe that he is in the right? I mean really if he was right and what was in the best my son why doesn't he have him? I have so many questions that I will never get an answer to I am angry and frustrated because this bullshit is never ending. This is something/someone I am going to end up dealing with for the rest of my life or at least for the next 14 years or so. I will never get rid of him, he is honestly a parasite that sucks the life out of everyone he comes in contact with. He manipulates everyone and everything to his advantage. He convinces people that he is right, that what he has done is ok. These brain washed people include the court system obviously. The system is doing nothing to help me Ive been forced to put all these court orders in place to benefit the father at the expense of myself. The expenses I've had to pay are not just monetary either they're emotional, mental, and physical.
If I'm gonna do it on my own then get out of my way and let me do it alone. You do nothing but cause problems. I wish the system saw things the way I do ... you don't wanna pay then you don't wanna have rights. I'm not sure where the idea comes from that you deserve to be a daddy. Everyone knows there's a difference between a daddy and a father. Unfortunately I've got a sperm donor who thinks he can do whatever he wants with no consequences and the system has proven him right. He has not had any repercussions for his actions my son's entire life ... my son is almost 5. This donor's shitty actions are not limited to child support.
As I've mentioned in a previous blog this a subject I can go on and on about so I will stick to the support issue for this installment of irregularly cantankerous :)
